5pm society of the veranda

Another once in a lifetime thing is happening on friday and things get a little slow for us nursing students, which is good since we’ve been working like robots with no proper sleeping habits like 2-3 hours of sleep is already rejuvinating.

I’ve been under this organization at school since the 2nd semester of 2nd year when I unintentionally took the exam to get in, next thing I know I was being interviewed by my superiors and after that we were taken to baguio for a journalism conference. It was fun being with the people in that group, the bonding, A LOT of singing and a little dancing, pop-up debates (usually initiated by bryan), philosophical thinking on how cruel at the same time happy life is and everyday conrversations that became an almost everyday routine.

The small talks is starting to be like heroine, you can’t get enough of it, like something in you tells you to have more everyday (haven’t taken them but that’s how they descrivbe the drug). Its good to have some people to converse with about everything under the sun; love, studies, morality, gender inequality, and other stuff that gets the nerves working like hell. You have to state your opinion every now and then, laugh when someone cracks a joke or even get sad when reality bites. Earlier today, we were dismissed ahead of time and I was really relieved to go home with the sun still up. But as I was trying to leave the building I saw my batch mates and they told me we still have singing lessons for the ceremony on Friday. Dismayed, I went back to the office in the intention of leaving my things so I can attend the practice, but like magnet I was pulled on staying in the office and chat with my friends till the practice is over (I couldn’t sneak out because I’m afraid to get caught not attending).

I saw dom eating kerrimo ( 2 in 1 snack composed of softdrinks and bite size goodies) thrilled to see that the store where he bought the stuff re-opened, I had them accompany me in buying it. On our way to the cafeteria the repartee started and as usual, I was on the mood to fight the three of them back. dom, noli jerome and me (the only girl) went to buy our merienda. While waiting for our orders to be served we talked about how one of them has a “greener” mind than the other, how dom always laughs when someone in the office talks about something he thinks has another meaning. Weird but its one of our typical topics. When we got our food, we went back and walked the easier path going back to the fourth floor where the office resides. Jerome entered the room first and to our surprise he went out again saying that bryan and erickson is having an “intimate discussion” and we wouldn’t want to disturb them, so we opened the veranda.

The veranda, one of the scenic places in the campus overlooking the LRT station, an old gov’t building next to a wide open space that used to be a parking lot, tall buildings and the basketball court beneath us. But the best part is the sky, which never seize to amaze me everytime we opened the door like its an entrance to a secret sacred place. At an instant the palaver started with noli telling some stories and the three of us listened, we had our turns in telling our own stories with whatever one wants to share or come up with, spontaneous barking that’s how I can describe it. When someone is talking somebody else has to have a comment on that and it would lead to another topic which another person would react to that will lead to another topic and therefore an endless cycle of intellectual nonsense chats. That’s how our life is almost everyday, after cramming for days or hours just to create one page of formed sentences from interviews and gathered data, we talk and talk until someone says “tara uwi na tayo” then everybody would leave and separate paths in the street of San Marcelino.

At the end of the day I end up smiling for a reason I barely  understand, like happiness came from releasing the stress I had that day, remembering my past and sharing my thoughts and ideas and to the people I’m starting to treasure. Now as I walk home alone, I never feel the need to hold somebody’s hand anymore just to know I’m secure, because I’m starting to realize I am now FIXED.

Mabilisan

I ony have 17 minutes to write this entry, before I prepare for school. and I’m making this just to release my stress.

(listening to castle in the sky)

one week to go before the the capping ceremony and I’m excited to wear our new uniform, well it’s not really about the new outfit, but it’s the feeling of fulfillment. I have put a lot of effort into this path and leaving it is the last thing I will ever do. life has been more generous to me this past few days, I just hope that I don’t get used to this state of life that when reality comes back, it’ll hit me harder. Triggered emotions, I haven’t felt this way for years. The feeling of happiness when you see someone (even just the sight of his name) makes you smile and completes your day that you never want to go to sleep because you’re afraid that you might not wake up the next morning.  To hear his voice and laughter that plays like music in your ears and acts like a healing potion to your broken soul. His smile that sparkles like the myriad stars in the darkness of the night. You feel perfectly happy and content just sitting next to that someone (4 minutes to go). But the inevitable fear of falling draws you back and tells you to stop or else when he’s gone, you’ll die again. Living with a dead soul is the hardest thing you’ve ever done. So don’t push your luck and entertain obscure feelings, just enjoy and see what happens

lucky day. oh happy day!

Just an ordinary day turned into a special one. when you realize that you’ve given people what is due to them, there’s this feeling of satisfaction and happiness inside you that you just can’t let the smile fade in your face. Even if smiling alone might look insane to other people, you just don’t care what they’re thinking, all you know and all you want to do is show them how happy you are. After correctly answering a question putting our group back on track, who wouldn’t be happy?! Ok, so maybe not everyone understands what I’m feeling right now.  grades for us white uniformed people is the only thing we think of next to waking up in the morning. Every single quiz counts, recitations are like speeches made in a large crowd that would determine the respect you would get from people listening or silently mocking you. Attitude is something you have to refine if you want to stay in your chosen profession and stop yourself from telling people in control that they are putting to much pressure on you. Patience is a virtue you should stick to your brain cells and not in your heart or else you would be insane. ewww. wait. I’m getting emotional.

A day spent with special people is really something to remember, you get to know them better and laugh with them. It’s been a long time since I’ve laughed like that, not worrying that if I get too happy I would end up crying. I just realized that there is this “someone” who could make me laugh, smile and make my neurons work double time when talking to him. Not to impress him but to blurt out my thoughts, what I really think about in life, gender equality, chivalry, how the human body works, stuff like that. Things not every man would have the capacity to react on, because there are only few men who think “intellectually”  and still manage to not look like a geek. Debating is one thing many men would avoid rather than speak and prove themselves wrong, they have too much EGO to be branded LOSER. Oh well, I guess writing it here wouldn’t change men in general because in reality they’re really not much of a talker.

Another day spent. Another memory remembered. Another laughter shared. A smile remembered.

Obviously, this entry doesn’t make sense. I don’t intend let most people reading this to understand it anyway.

what Katherine means…

I  just got curious so I typed my name and tada! the meaning of my name.

You are a seeker of knowledge, and you have learned many things in your life.
You are also a keeper of knowledge – meaning you don’t spill secrets or spread gossip.
People sometimes think you’re snobby or aloof, but you’re just too deep in thought to pay attention to them.

You are usually the best at everything … you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic “Type A” personality.

You are a seeker. You often find yourself restless – and you have a lot of questions about life.
You tend to travel often, to fairly random locations. You’re most comfortable when you’re far away from home.
You are quite passionate and easily tempted. Your impulses sometimes get you into trouble.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you… especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You’re a strong person.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You’re always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can’t handle you. You’re very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you’re likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It’s easy to get you excited… which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don’t stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

from this site: http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyournameshiddenmeaningquiz/

Freaky friday

it was one of the best days in my life as I might say, getting away with some tedious work, seeing my ever admired man, reciting in class after a long week of being neglected whenever I raise my hand and other more amazing things. But the best part of it was when my professor told a story that happened only a few days ago.

our topic that afternoon was pain management and we had 20 mins break after 3 long hours. But when I was about to get back into our room, one of my blockmates said that we are moving to another room. So I got my bag and went up to 4th floor (in another building) and we had a small talk with our prof. which happens to have a third eye.

She said it happened last week, an ordinary friday with a not so ordinary schedule (like “we” usually have). She was also teaching pain management to another block of white uniformed students and it was her first time to enter that class since school just started.

There was nothing weird about that class, she recalled, “everything was real to me. I looked at the seat plan and saw some familiar faces (old students from nutrition class last summer), I don’t usually call the students one by one just to see if their present because for me that is a waste of time. I just base the attendance when they pass their papers in the quizzes”.

As she was teaching how pain messages travel through the human body, she noticed a girl in white(just like everybody else) with the same hair like the other girls, a typical student at that fact, but this girl never talk to anyone. Our prof was not surprised as she thought that maybe she is a transferee without any friends in that class. But after 3 hours of teaching and giving a break to the students, the “girl” was still there, still sitting and not talking. When the other students got back from eating, they started the discussion again but what made my prof bewildered was that after four hours of not moving, the “girl” suddenly left in the middle of class and left the room, the catch? she didn’t open the door. My prof couldn’t say a word, she tried to continue with what she was discussing before that incident but there was no hope, she would get lost, say a wrong term and even started to stutter, out of fear I guess. She waited for a few minutes hoping that the “girl” will not be back, but she just got disappointed. As she thought that prayers were heard, she appeared again the “girl” but this time she didn’t seat at her chair like she did last time, she just started to walk left and right, like a busy person thinking of what she’s going to do next. after a few minutes, she left the room again with the same act of not opening the other. My prof knew she couldn’t keep it to her class anymore and started to ask the class who among them has a third eye. The fortunately no other people had it, but they confessed that they felt the room was unusually colder when they got back from the break.

at the end of the day… they were all relieved that the class is over and the “thing” that made them shiver does not exist anymore (for good, we hope). Then they just realized, it was one of the superstitiously believed day that most people seem to avoid. That friday was FRIDAY THE THIRTEENTH.

after telling that story, everybody in our class had cold hands, they couldn’t believe what they heard. Then just when we were all settled and restarting the schedule again, one of my blockmate just screamed out of nowhere like there was something that scared him at the other side of the glass paneled divider , everybody else reacted, it turns out it was only our other prof fixing her things. after that everybody blurted out a loud laugh.

I had a great time last friday. we also visited our last Editor-in-chief in her house because it was her birthday and she was really surprised to see all of us. After a long week of headache and sleepless nights. I thank HIM for still blessing me with the life I have.

Officially over

my summer classes is officially over! physical assessment (checK!). pharmacology requirements (check!) final quizzes and exams (check!).

don’t really know how to start this entry coz there’s just too much to say but limited words to describe each. Finally, all the sleepless nights and tiring days paid off! and I am somehow, officially a third year nursing student. In months time I would be wearing my blue uniform for hospital duty and my scrub suit (how great is that?!) Getting where I am right now is not like taking a candy from a baby, oh no! it was like trying to squeeze in a needle hole while carrying loads of work at the same time trying to keep my sanity. In the middle of my battle against Medical nutrition, Fundamentals of Nursing and the dreaded Pharmacology I almost lost it. If it wasn’t for the people around me supporting and telling me not to quit until I’ve tried, maybe by now I’m locked up in a white and foamy room, a mental sanitarium as I might say. While cramming and living the path I chose to take, the motto “no pain no gain” was clinging on my shoulders like a little crabs pinching and reminding me that I still have a “LOT” to do before I take a rest.

As days passed and life got tougher, I noticed that there were people who have been with me for quite sometime but I haven’t realized their importance in my life till I was all torn into pieces and they were there to fix me. I found new friends, and REAL ONES, those who I thought would be the least part of my circle were actually the ones building it for me. We shared laughters and pains, got stuck into requirements for a time and had our shadow complaints on the people whom we thought were getting our brain cells killed. Of course if there were people who kept me sane, there were those that made us suffer, or so I thought. I’m talking bout those people who push you to your limits until you start to hate them thinking all they do is to make you suffer and suffer, then in the end you realize that they were just trying to make you strong and tough coz they care for you too much that they don’t want you empty handed when they put you to the real world. I know you know who I’m talkin bout.

After getting my finger pricked by a syringe and bleed a lot, crying for failing a quiz in medication calculation and loosing weight ( the only side effect I liked), at last! it’s over, my summer dilemma. After two weeks I will be walking the same path again, but for now I’ll be taking a break,heal my wounds and prep up for the next bump that’ll come my way.

Thank God I made it through.

Scrambled thoughts due to frequent loss of focus.

These past few days we were assigned to attend some rallies, school gatherings and stuff like that in connection with the issues and scandals that’s happening to the government. It all started when J.lo (jun Lozada) spilled all the corruption happpening in the government, a bad habit that has become a culture of, if not al, some politician. The nursing week also opened last thursday (wonder why it’s called nursing week when it won’t last for a week).

SMIIC Ecumenical Gathering

it was held at St. Paul’s College-Manila, I was suppose to have a class from 1pm-5pm but I decided to attend the gathering instead, thought it was fun. I knew that we were going to walk from the University going to pedro gil (where st. paul stands) and I was brave enough to accept the beat even though I was wearing my Nursing Uniform, all white and obviously not fit to be worn at times like that. I volunteered to take the pictures so I more or less had fun going there, but there was something more when I went there.

Students and some administrator coming from ten different schools namely DLSU-manila, SSC, PWU, PNU, CSB, Lyceum, AdU, SPUM, EAC and PCU participated in the activity to show their support in the statement made by The Catholic Educational Association of the Philippines (CEAP) “Speaking truth, Seeking Justice and Setting Things Right”. (other infos in the upcoming 2nd issue of the Adamson Chronicle).

yeay! I was seated with the pariticipants from the other schools and after the talk of Bishop Claver we had a small session tackling and sharing our opinions. It was fun, but I didn’t say much because my shyness just popped out of nowhere (damn). After that we were asked to write in a big tarpaulin with the name of our University on top with the question that goes like “what can you do to make a change” (parang ganun pero not exactly), anyway, I was the first one to write since our group ended the session first. I forgot what I exactly wrote but I know that it had something to do with me being a writer, that I would try to say only the truth when doing my duty. It ended at around 6 in the evening.

NURSING WEEK OPENING 

As a member of the Nursing chorale, we are assigned to sing for the Mass before Opening the event, 3 days before that we had practices in which I was only able to attend the last due to unexpected circumstances. After going back to the school from the Ecumenical Gathering I went to the practice, sang and went home wasted. The next day, at 7 in the morning I saw myself still practicing the song beside the Our Lady Of Miraculous Medal  just beside SV building. During the Homily, I was touched by the sermon of father Greg. Bañaga, the President of the University, as he congratulated the Board passers of the College having a 90% result and putting the name of the University at 7th amongst other Nursing schools in the Philippines. He also stated some trait that a Vincentian Nurse should have, like being compassionate and patient, I thought yes, certainly that is the trait that makes us unique.

INTER FAITH RALLY

oh yes, the rally that I thought would knock on someone’s conscience hard enough to step down from her position, but Unfortuantely nothing happened. We walked from Adamson University to Paseo de Roxas in Makati and yes my legs and feet are very tired after that. and since I took some pictures, I had to run from one point to another, and then run back to my fellow adamsonian. I took some great shots like, a child sitting in the shoulders of his father waving a green flaglet which symbolizes the people’s search for truth (i think), rallyist wearing a demon face of you know who and numerous banners stating different things with the same message, that they want change.

All in all that is how I spent my last week of february. I already had a view of my grades and was I dissapointed, I thought I was working hard enough to get the grades that I want. (sigh) I hope that I can make it to the finals.

writing to fight, better yet, figthing to write…

I’ve been looking for an inspiration to scribble my pen and create something worth reading, but it seems that the muses have forgotten about me and I somehow feel betrayed.

The release of our first issue went well and I feel a little relieved about this or so I thought. Few days after the paper went out, gervic told us about the bad news, that someone in the forums is saying negative things about us and our works, and I heard there was a particular girl saying the one I made was like korny or stupid or something like that (I don’t care whatever she said). The last thing that I need for me to be confident and fool myself that I am fitting to be in my position is someone mocking at us, but it was inevitable and I expected that since we can’t please everybody.

Just this afternoon we had a meeting with our technical adviser and I was surprised when she said that I shouldn’t feel bad about the negative things the old members of the publication said in the Adamsonian Forums. I didn’t mind at first since I personally haven’t read anything (too busy to bother either) and I know that worrying about those things won’t get me anywhere and would only trigger my laziness to write. She also shared with us her experience back when she was still in college, way back in 1988 (when I was still a fetus, maybe) all the rebellious acts of the students of the University. Rallies were a usual thing seen everyday, classes were cut because of unscheduled school activities made possible by the running officers for the student government, there was a month that they didn’t have any classes and some, even played “patintero” with the angel of death, unforutnately others got “tagged” and IT became the end of their game.

While she was telling the stories I was starting to imagine how chaotic it was in the school before I was even born, the time when our graduates would not be accepted when they apply for a job because they were thought to become rebellious at some point. I imagine hard life was as a student that time and how hard it was for the administration to keep the University going, How better it is today and the reason why somehow, in the long run we lost track of the game.

Just because we are under the Administration’s supervision (through our technical adviser) doesn’t mean that we can’t write anything wrong we see or hear about them, we can but then we have to get the two sides of the story. we were tasked to build bridges and not burn them, these bridges linking the admin and the students, and that is the most challenging part of all. Trying to reach the students and letting them realize that sometimes the strict rules implemented by the admin is for their own good or tuition fee increase is inevitable as years pass by at the same time reaching out to the admin to hear the small voices of students, letting them know what they have to say about a certain issue on even just a strict implementation of  NO long haircuts.

Writing to fight for what is right and just is not only a Journalist’s responsibility, but being able deliver messages to people involved and at one point trigger a resolution, or if not at least make them aware. Figthing to write is a dilemma experienced by people like me who doesn’t seem to know who to pick out the words to create an article, others,who would want to write but not given the opportunity because they have betrayed their readers and broken their vow to deliver only the truth and not take sides.

Writing is a gift everyone can wish to have but not everyone would wish to pursue.

Giant kisses, pizza, shawarma, jap food and DO-nuts!

after a week of so-many-things-to-do but so-little-time-to-do-it, it’s finally over! yeay! I never thought I would be this inclined with school activities, maybe because I never Imagined myself to be so perky.

We had to cover all the activities in the University at the same time manage to be in our classes since we still don’ have our excuse letter. Being one of the members of the new editorial board isn’t as easy as it seems, we had to write about almost everything happening inside the campus at the same time watch what we’re writing, freedom of speech is not always our priority but responsibility in expressing our thoughts and ideas. Anyway, we had our beats, office blessing, release of our First (late) issue, interview with the sumilao farmers and my other constraints like the “Canticle” Chorale Competition and my academic duties ( I was informed that the panel interview would start this week), but I have to admit, I love it when I’m always on the go, it makes me finish a lot more than I think I possible could. We also had a poetry reading by friday, at first we thought that it was going to be boring and no one would come to participate but it turns to be amusing and entertaining particularly when it was about to end, we had a mini concert and I do think everybody in the Quadrangle enjoyed it. I had someone kneel before me and sing “your love” by alamid it was hilarious since I only knew the guy for about a minute, our adviser gltiched up when she asked me if the guy was courting me, all I could do was squirm and laugh. After all the hard work over the week, we indulged ourselves with dainty food in pizzahut and went home early for the first time in the week to rest and take a break.

Interview with the Sumilao Farmers

Rev. Fr. Greg Bañaga in his speech before the office blessing

The New Adamson Chronicle editorial Board (minus me and Gervic)

Deus Starting the Distribution

 

Heart’s day also invaded the campus when chocolates and flowers filled the each Girl’s hands, I also received a giant size kisses from my blockmate who was generous enough to give those sweet things to every “single” girl in the room (good thing I still belong to the lonely heart’s club). I also became a delivery girl at the end of the day when I saw one of my team mate back in Highschool sitting alone and waiting for his “someone” to arrive, turns out the girl couldn’t receive his message because she was training so I had to deliver the chocolates and flowers instead. It pays to help people, especially when they can treat you for lunch in tokyo tokyo hehehhe…

 

Kuya egan and saturday came consecutively, were surprised to see kuya egan right in front of the door while wacko was barking like crazy. He got here just in time for his birthday. When the sun came down kuya egan invited me together with kuya anton and kuya ego in my very first U.P. fair. Since it was my first I didn’t know what to expect, there were infinite people going in and out of sunken garden, endless different bands a LOT of body banging and cheering as they play. I welcomed my 19th birthday with shawarma (courtesy of kuya ego) and a nice nap in the grounds of sunken garden. I fell asleep when we sat for a while, when went home at around 3 in the morning.

 

This is what I get from sleeping in the U.P. grounds.

 

I celebrated my birthday with my family and some of my Brother’s good friends in MOA, ate at kitaro and had a little walk.

 

feast at kitaro

the gang (minus kuya egan taking this picture)

 

 

After all the hard work and short sleep nights, I can say that I had a meaningful week! I can now go back to being an ordinary student now that the foundation week and my birthday celebration is over. New age, responisibilities, expectations and challenges, what could better than that? I guess I’ll leave everything else to HIM and I know the rest will follow.

 

Random Floption

its now the month of chocolates, flowers and happy hearts I just realized in 16 days I’m gonna get another year older.

Earlier this day I slept at around 3 in the morning and woke up at 8, last night after I got home and ate dinner slept and woke up just in time to watch “coffee prince” (I love andy and arthur and errol and waffle maker). These are the things I did when I stayed up late:

1. checked my friendster, multiply and yahoo account (don’t have much time to check it daily so I missed a LOT of things)

2. typed a reflection for my Health care- Community Duty. (we already had 6 duties, it was so much FUN! but tiring at the sametime)

3. had a chat with my childhood friend who is oceans away from me.

Last tuesday I had a chance to give an Immunization shot to a baby, I gave him a DPT and a HEP B, I almost wanted to kill myself when I forgot to do something which could have put the baby in danger, but my instructor told me to give him the last injection so I did, good thing nothing happened to the baby. By the time I gave him the Oral Polio Vaccine, my hands were shaking like crazy! after that I left the room and had someone replace me, I never thought I would act that way, I knew I would be nervous but nothing much liked that.

I joined the canticle competition this year and for this reason I go home late almost everyday, funny because I leave house with street lamps still on and the sky still dark same story by the time I get home the only difference is, its much more quiet in the morning than in the evening. Midterms is fast approaching and I couldn’t help but get stressed and pressured knowing I didn’t get the grade I wanted in one of my major subjects. We still have to make 1FNCP, 2 SOPIES, 1 case analysis, 1 case study and prepare ourselves for an individual interview with the clinical professors in the College. Journalism is not getting a bit easier thought we’ll e releasing our first Issue by the second week of this month we still have to pass articles for the next issue and we’re still planning to come up with a literary folio and a summer issue of The Adamson Chronicle. There is not change in my Social life, only that it gets much more complicated everyday, people getting closer, no communication from my close friends and not having a stable decision on what I should feel. I now have less sleep and more work, less rest and more responsibilities, less exercise and more food intake… that’s why the weighing scale has not been very friendly these pass few days.

A ridiculous mistake…

while I was in the practice with the other choir members I noticed that there was one guy from the higher batch who keeps on looking at me ( or so I thought). Not minding it, I kept on singing and praticing, after a few minutes we were dismissed. I walked home with a friend who was a year higher than me and I was shocked when she said that the guy I thought was looking at me was actually looking at her for a grudging reason and that he is a girl hiding in a man’s body. He was actually jealous with the girl I was with because his “man” had a crush on her. Its funny how things could get so surprising…

so the moral of the story is, don’t always believe in what you see, there are hidden things that the eye can miss but the mind wouldn’t… hahahahahha