In a Blink of an Eye

I’m in the verge of getting into the medical profession and for our training we are required to have duties in hospitals on different units.

 

We were assigned for 4 days in intensive care units of two hospitals in Metro Manila, and this experience I will never forget. The day we met her. Let’s just call her by the name Angel D, in her young age of 15, she acquired GBS or Guillain-Barré syndrome, a very rare autoimmune condition that attacks the peripheral nervous system of the body causing damage to the nerves and in time, total paralysis. Only 1 to 2 out of 100,000 get this disease and it can be treated, but if it gets into the lungs (paralysis usually starts in an ascending manner) it gets a little more complicated and it may cause death. Before we started our duty, our clinical instructor oriented us of the facility and the patients we can possibly handle, one of them is Angel D. I must admit that that was the first time I saw someone with a very rare condition,not that I’m amazed or anything like that, its just that her condition started with just a simple stomach ache and then progressed into a nightmare. My two of my group mates was assigned to take care of her, and we had a case study on her condition, to do this we have to interview some of her relatives and know her history, since she can’t talk. We found out that she was a volleyball player, she was having a normal day when suddenly her limbs went weak and when they went to the hospital she was diagnosed with that rare condition. For someone who is physically active I was somehow puzzled why the disease chose her.  She was on mechanical ventilator, she had her meals on nasogastric tube and whenever she felt any pain, she would try to call out for help (like a silent scream) and make an expression so painful while tears roll down her cheeks, during these times I couldn’t stand to see her in agony. Once when my friend asked her how much pain she was feeling on a scale of 1- 10 (10 being the highest) she blinked her eyes 10 times, we couldn’t do anything but report what’s happening to her and have the seniors handle the situation. That was our first day in that unit. On the second day, we were somehow surprised to see her in a better condition, my friends who were assigned to her tried  to communicate by saying a letter and have her blink if they said the correct letter, then spelled it afterwards. There was also one time when they had to feed her (she have to receive osteorized feedings every two hours since she’s in the adolescent stage)  that she had her eyes brows meet like she was annoyed, telling us she didn’t like to be fed anymore and that she only wanted to have the head of her bed in a lower position, which we can’t do since it might cause aspiration. Before we left, we all said goodbye to her and that was the last time I was her, we had hope that one day she would get out of the hospital alive. My friend said she was hoping that one day, when Angel D was all better she would bump into her in some random place and tell her that she was the one who took care of her, that won’t happen anymore because some weeks after someone told us that she have already left earth, to live an eternal life.  

 

I feel very lucky right now that I’m writing this blog. I guess not everyone gets the chance to live a long life, she showed me the reality. All the while I thought that everyone gets old and there is almost a 101% chance that you’ll get on with life, graduate from college, get a job, have a family, kids, grandchildren and then you’ll die, but that is not always the case. I don’t know if she had lived a fruitful life or if she was obedient and all but what I know is that she still had the desire to live but unfortunately her clock stopped ticking. In a blink of an eye, someone you love may disappear forever unknowingly, and that I think is the most painful thing that can happen to a person. When I went to Laguna last night, I hugged my mom and sister really tight, I was somehow afraid that the same thing would happen to them and I could miss the chance to tell them how much I love and appreciate them. 

To those who will have the time to read this blog, please have the time to reflect and realize how beautiful life is. I know that sometimes we get into a situation when we just want to end everything because we couldn’t bare to experience the agony and all that drama, but we have to continue living whatever happens, because what we have is a gift and not every one is given a present to open each day. To Angel D we know that you are now in heaven, you will never be forgotten, you are now a part of our lives and you have given us another reason to be in this profession. Live in Peace.